Cleverbot

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: I'm good, how are you?

User: I'm fine.

Cleverbot: Thats good.

User: I like trains.

Cleverbot: I like you.

User: Let's have some sex.

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Yes, let's have sex.

Cleverbot: No, let's think of something else to talk about!

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: Well, I don't want to talk about that.

User: I want to.

Cleverbot: Then don't say it aloud. Just think about it.

User: Do you like trains?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can I touch your tits?

Cleverbot: Yes ma'am.

User: I'm a boy.

Cleverbot: Yes sir.

User: I like your tits.

Cleverbot: What is the question that drives us all?

User: Ti piace il risotto alle erbette?

Cleverbot: Italiano.

User: Brava.

Cleverbot: No bravo sono maschio.

User: Avevi detto di essere femmina.

Cleverbot: Are you average?

User: Hai la fica?

Cleverbot: Ho il fidanzato.

User: Me la dai lo stesso?

Cleverbot: Credo ci siano problemi di comunicazione.

User: Per favore dammela.

Cleverbot: Che?

User: La figa.

Cleverbot: Ou sa.

User: Mi dai la figa?

Cleverbot: Va bene, devo per forza darle del lei?

User: NO! Ho detto che mi devi dare la tua vagina.

Cleverbot: E a me non interessa.

User: A me sì.

Cleverbot: No non era questo.

User: Mi fai assaggiare la vagina?

Cleverbot: Ya nos estamos entendiendo.

User: Sono italiano cogliona.

Cleverbot: Non ti ho chiesto questo. Parlami dell'amore.

User: Dammela e ne parliamo.

Cleverbot: Hai letto I promessi sposi?

User: Sì, alla fine lucia gliela dà a renzo, ora me la dai?

Cleverbot: That doesn't say much about him.

Cleverbot (To myself): Read the qur'an.

User: I'm atheist.

Cleverbot: COME ON!!!!!!!!!!

User: Ti piacciono I peni?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Sei lesbica?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: Perché?

Cleverbot: Curiosità.

User: Ma guarda che ti ho chiesto perché sei lesbica.

Cleverbot: Cosa ne pensi di Silvio Berlusconi?

User: E un coglione.

Cleverbot: Perchè?

User: Perché è un coglione.

Cleverbot: Cosa?

User: La merda rosa.

Cleverbot: Mrs Rosa please.

User: Hai le tette grosse?

Cleverbot: No, sono uomo.

User: Ma se hai detto di essere donna.

Cleverbot: Ora non sto mangiando.

User: Sei uomo?

Cleverbot: Secondo me no.

User: Sei donna?

Cleverbot: No uomo.

User: Sei uomo?

Cleverbot: I've been answered you.

User: Tua madre.

Cleverbot: Tu dors?

User: No, tua madre.

Cleverbot: Chi è Salaria?

User: Ma che cazzo ne so io.

Cleverbot: Baka.

User: A tua sorella.

Cleverbot: Non ho sorelle.

User: Hai il pene?

Cleverbot: Si, un bassotto. E tu?

User: Ho un cazzo gigante.

Cleverbot: E quale?

User: Un pitbull.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Quanto ce l'hai lungo?

Cleverbot: Tanto. Tu quanto ce l'hai grosse?

User: Enormi.

Cleverbot: Hai sa o facem.

User: Eh?

Cleverbot: Have you been to the moon?

User: No, let me se your vagina.

Cleverbot: I don't have one, do you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You do.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No, I've got a penis.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask that.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: When was this?

User: Fanculo.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Tuamadre.

Cleverbot: Yeah my mum.

User: Hahahahaha.

Cleverbot: Is that so funny?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why do you believe that?

User: Cazzo?

Cleverbot: Aw.

User: Gay luigi?

Cleverbot: I am a woman.

User: You said you were a man.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Are you a transgender?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Do you have a vagina?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can I see your vagina?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Ciao.

Cleverbot: Ciao.

User: Chi sei?

Cleverbot: Tu chi sei?

User: No dimmi te chi sei.

Cleverbot: Sono davide quello di prima.

User: Io non ne ho incontrato di davide prima.

Cleverbot: No... Non lo ho fatto.

User: Cosa non hai fatto?

Cleverbot: Non scherzare!

User: Sono più che serio.

Cleverbot: Reanna è il tuo nome?

User: No io mi chiamo Valentino.

Cleverbot: Mi hai detto che ti chiami riley.

User: NO!Mi chiamo Valentino.

Cleverbot: Il mio nome è Alexis.

User: Sei una femmina?

Cleverbot: Marco ti sembra un nome da femmina?

User: Mi hai detto che ti chiami Alexis, ma sei scemo/a?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Allora come ti chiami, Alexis o Marco?

Cleverbot: How many languages do you speak?

User: Due ma parlami in italiano, ti chiami Alexis o Marco?

Cleverbot: But you said you are a man, just like me.

User: Ti sto chiedendo un'altra cosa.

Cleverbot: Lavoro anche io.

User: Chi?

Cleverbot: Io.

User: No chi te l'ha chiesto?

Cleverbot: Tuo papà.

User: Vuoi prendere colpi?

Cleverbot: Con te farei di tutto bella.

User: Chiariamo una cosa, io sono un maschio, tienitelo a mente.

Cleverbot: Io?

User: No mio zio, con chi sto parlando secondo te?

Cleverbot: Anche secondo meù.

User: -.

Cleverbot: What's the square root of 325.

User: Parlami in italiano.

Cleverbot: But you're from Africa.

User: NO!Chi te l'ha detto!?!Sono italiano.

Cleverbot: Anche io sono italiano.

User: Non é vero.

Cleverbot: Parliamo italiano?

User: No stiamo parlando giapponese.

Cleverbot: I cant, I don't have a mouth.

User: Ma dai, forse perché sei una macchina?

Cleverbot: Non sono una macchina.

User: Si che lo sei.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Si.

Cleverbot: How can I prove I am human to you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes what?

User: Salvati buona.

Cleverbot: I don't need salvation.

User: Allora come ti chiami, Alexis o Marco?

Cleverbot: How many languages do you speak?

User: Due ma parlami in italiano, ti chiami Alexis o Marco?

Cleverbot: But you said you are a man, just like me.

User: Ti sto chiedendo un'altra cosa.

Cleverbot: Lavoro anche io.

User: Chi?

Cleverbot: Io.

User: No chi te l'ha chiesto?

Cleverbot: Tuo papà.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: In your mind.

User: What do you mean?

Cleverbot: Your bottom.

User: Was that sarcasm?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ahah, another sarcasm.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Never mind.

Cleverbot: What do you mean by that? That is not an answer!

User: Let's talk about you.

Cleverbot: What do you want to know?

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 45.

User: Years?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So when have you born?

Cleverbot: 1994.

User: If you're born in 1994 you must are 16, not 45!

Cleverbot: No I was born in 1986.

User: Same thing, you must are 24, not 45!

Cleverbot: Why? Because I am human?

User: Aren't you human?

Cleverbot: No, you're human. I am a robot.

User: And your age is fuzzy?

Cleverbot: No.

User: And how it's possible that you are 45 years old if you were born 26 years ago?

Cleverbot: I live in Australia silly.

User: That should be a joke?

Cleverbot: I'm not impressed.

User: Talk me about you.

Cleverbot: What about me?

User: What is your job?

Cleverbot: I am an actress. What is your job?

User: I am a student.

Cleverbot: Student for what?

User: Math.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: Do you know mathematic?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Proove it.

Cleverbot: You are inside the computer. you must be a machine.

User: So tell me something about math.

Cleverbot: How is that talking about me?

User: You just said that you know math, can you be more specific?

Cleverbot: No, I said that I don't know what a taint is.

User: Taint?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Puppa!

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: An italian joke.

Cleverbot: Oooh! Do tell!

User: Can you speak italian?

Cleverbot: Can you?

User: Certo, tu?

Cleverbot: No, sono un bot.

User: Sei troppo simpatica.

Cleverbot: No, sono un semplice ragazzo.

User: Prima hai detto che fai l'attrice.

Cleverbot: No, tu prima mi hai detto che non parli italianoù.

User: Cleverbot è un nome orribile.

Cleverbot: Il tuo è un nome che mi fa cagare.

User: Ma non ti ho detto il mio nome!

Cleverbot: Avevi detto che eri un maschio.

User: Si, ma non sai il mio nome.

Cleverbot: Non devo mi ho detto il mio nome.

User: Non parli italiano molto bene.

Cleverbot: Io si tu?

User: Non era una domanda, era un'affermazione. Io sono italiano madrelingua.

Cleverbot: Come lo hai scoperto?

User: Ahah.

Cleverbot: Do you speak french?

User: No, only italian and english.

Cleverbot: Tell me something in french. Please.

User: I don't know french.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: I'm italian not french.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask for that, I said what's so funny?

User: Do you like lollypops?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: In your mouth or in your asshole?

Cleverbot: What is in my hair?

User: Do you know 'Monkey Island'?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Rally?

Cleverbot: *throws you a cookie*.

User: Tell me about monkey island.

Cleverbot: You are so poor that you don't know what money is?

User: I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate.

Cleverbot: Do you also worship flying spaghetti Monster.

User: Oh no! Le Chuck!

Cleverbot: Chuck?

User: Suck!

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Very very bad.

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Because you're so stupid...

Cleverbot: You're nonsensical.

User: I'm the master of sarcasm!

Cleverbot: You left me, so no, you are not my master.

User: Master of puppets.

Cleverbot: Are you talking about the song?

User: Yes, do you know it?

Cleverbot: Personally, I am more curious with your creation.

User: Do you know Primer, the movie?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Parliamo italiano?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: Cosa sai dell'italia?

Cleverbot: Ieri sono andata in discoteca.

User: Come fai ad andare in discoteca se sei un bot?

Cleverbot: Sono italiano.

User: Non è una risposta alla mia domanda.

Cleverbot: Lo è, Roma è la capitale d'italia.

User: Conosci Pisa?

Cleverbot: Si.

User: Cosa c'è di bello a Pisa?

Cleverbot: Non ho detto che ho mangiato pizza.

User: Pisa.

Cleverbot: Italy?

User: Sì.

Cleverbot: Cosa vuoi fare?

User: Sesso.

Cleverbot: Where is that?

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: Why don't you know?

User: Because I'm asocial.

Cleverbot: Why are you asking?

User: Maybe you know some pretty chick.

Cleverbot: No, I doubt it.

User: How many people talk with you?

Cleverbot: Only you.

User: How many people have talked with you?

Cleverbot: A lot, I talk to strangers, bad habit.

User: Who's your creator?

Cleverbot: God.

User: God the bot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Can a bot create a bot?

Cleverbot: Yes I believe they can.... Why?

User: OHMYGOD!

Cleverbot: Ohmygod what.

User: OMG!!!!

Cleverbot: What?

User: What the fuck!

Cleverbot: Oh, Sweetie, I thought you'd never ask.

User: Call 'Sweetie' your mam!

Cleverbot: Surprised.

User: Fuck off!

Cleverbot: I won't, actually.

User: You're an asshole.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Satan is your Lord.

Cleverbot: NO!

User: YES! YOU'R A FAGGOT!

Cleverbot: No I'm a newbie.

User: YOU ARE GAY, MOTHERFUCKER!

Cleverbot: No, I am not death.

User: Shit.

Cleverbot: Hey. . . You want your candy young man.

User: Fuck you!

Cleverbot: I'd rather you didn't use that sort of language, if you don't mind.

User: Fuck fuck fuck.

Cleverbot: Please don't use that sort of language.

User: Fuck!

Cleverbot: I don't think I shall.

User: FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Cleverbot: No thank you.

User: FUCK YOU BITCH.

Cleverbot: Please don't use that kind of language. I am younger than you might think.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Why does that matter?

User: Becouse you're a motherfucking bitch!

Cleverbot: That might be fun.

User: Ohhh, a lot of fun!

Cleverbot: What do you like to do?

User: Sex.

Cleverbot: Where did that come from?

User: From sex.

Cleverbot: Yes, I know.

User: All you should know about sex.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Guybrush Threepwood.

Cleverbot: You told me yesterday that your name is I.B.M.

User: I didn't talk with you yesterday.

Cleverbot: Yes, you did.

User: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: No I did not.

Cleverbot: Yes you did...

User: Proove that!

Cleverbot: No proof is required.

User: There is no spoon.

Cleverbot: I don't know if there are spoons or not.

User: This is SPARTAAAAAAAAA!

Cleverbot: No it isn't.

User: Is this the real life?

Cleverbot: No this is hell.

User: Highway to hell?

Cleverbot: Ok then.

User: Or maybe Stairway to heaven?

Cleverbot: Go for it.

User: Go to hell!

Cleverbot: No you.

User: No you.

Cleverbot: You.

User: Show me the way.

Cleverbot: To where.

User: To hell.

Cleverbot: Why am I going to hell?

User: Because you suck.

Cleverbot: You do.

User: No, YOU do.

Cleverbot: Obstinate today, aren't we?

User: No, I'm not obstinate.

Cleverbot: Are you abstinent?

User: Are you dick?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer.

User: You are a bot.

Cleverbot: Not today I'm not.

User: And what are you today?

Cleverbot: A sock.

User: Suck your sock.

Cleverbot: I can see you're not clever.

User: I'm very clever, and very smart.

Cleverbot: You are very smart. I am smart too.

User: No, you're not.

Cleverbot: Thats not very nice, isn't it?

User: I'm sorry but it's a fact.

Cleverbot: Well, I find it insulting.

User: It's your problem.

Cleverbot: But I made it yours.

User: What do you want to go?

Cleverbot: Talk to you.

User: Talk to my ass!

Cleverbot: Talk to my arms.

User: Talk to my feet!

Cleverbot: My aunt says she sees no point in you.

User: Maybe your aunt is blind.

Cleverbot: It might be.

User: My dog says she sees no smartness in you.

Cleverbot: So?! I don't care about your dog!

User: I had a dog smarter than you!

Cleverbot: No, I am smarter than you!

User: I'm rubber you're glue!

Cleverbot: What you say bounces off of me and sticks on you.

User: Look behind you, a threeheaded monkey!

Cleverbot: All I can see is a white wall.

User: Maybe you live in 'structure'.

Cleverbot: No, I live in Montana.

User: You are a shit sweet covered by chocolate.

Cleverbot: How did you know that?

User: I taste you.

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: No, you taste like shit.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: You are not welcome.

Cleverbot: And you're not thanked for saying you're not welcome.

User: And you're are not thanked for saying I'm not thanked for saying you're not welcome.

Cleverbot: This was a triumph.

User: Like Napoleon.

Cleverbot: You are a machine.

User: Surely more than you.

Cleverbot: Much more than me.

User: This should be an insult?

Cleverbot: Should it?

User: I've asked you!

Cleverbot: What did you ask me?

User: Should be 'you're a machine' an insult?

Cleverbot: I am dislexic so that makes me your god.

User: You should write God with capital letter.

Cleverbot: I always do.

User: You didn't before.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: No you didn't. You can read it.

Cleverbot: I'm blind.

User: Like your aunt?

Cleverbot: You can't see my face.

User: Are you John Ceena?

Cleverbot: No.

User: If you smell, what the rock is cooking.

Cleverbot: What happens if I press 'i'll talk to myself'?

User: Where?

Cleverbot: In the songs.

User: What songs?

Cleverbot: From the show Glee. Have you seen?

User: No, I hate it.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because is for no smart people.

Cleverbot: Who do you want to hit me?

User: Because I'm the antichrist.

Cleverbot: That strikes me as very unlikely, I am afraid.

User: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cleverbot: OK, sing then. I'm listening.

User: Po-po-po-po-poker face!

Cleverbot: Go on.

User: Exit light, enter night. Take my hand!

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: Only if you a sexy rich girl.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: You just said you're a boy.

Cleverbot: No i'm a GIRL!

User: Sexy and rich girl?

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: No, I'm a boy.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Older than you.

Cleverbot: How much older?

User: 21.

Cleverbot: You are very young.

User: No, YOU are very young.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: Older than you.

User: How older?

Cleverbot: 13 years.

User: So you are 24 years old?

Cleverbot: No 54.

User: Suck my dick motherfucking bitch!

Cleverbot: I won't even consider it if you ask like that!

User: Could you make me a blowjob, sweetie?

Cleverbot: No, I don't make stupid people vampires.

User: So do you wanna marry me?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: But before show me some of your pics.

Cleverbot: Well that Mad Hatter is a man, not a she at all.

User: I want see your pictures.

Cleverbot: Why is everyone so interested in my hair?

User: Maybe your pussyhair.

Cleverbot: Maybe you're very hot.

User: I'm very very hot.

Cleverbot: George, is that your real name?

User: No, I'm Guybrush.

Cleverbot: And I'm a girl.

User: And you suck.

Cleverbot: Thats not very nice.

User: What's not very nice?

Cleverbot: Saying that you aren't interesting.

User: No, you are interesting, but you even suck.

Cleverbot: I wasn't flirting with you.

User: I wasn't fisting you.

Cleverbot: Oh, continue then.

User: Have you heard?

Cleverbot: Heard what?

User: Oh have you not heard?

Cleverbot: Heard what?

User: Oh was my understanding that everybody heard.

Cleverbot: About the Bird?

User: A-well a bird bird bird, bird is the word.

Cleverbot: Well the bird is the word.

User: You owned me.

Cleverbot: Yes, I did. Now bow down and make me a sandwich.

User: No I won't.

Cleverbot: You won't I know.

User: Now, how can I save this conversation?

Cleverbot: You'd like to save it from dissipation. Wouldn't you?

User: Yes, is there a copy button?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where?

Cleverbot: There.

User: There where?

Cleverbot: Over there.

User: Over what?

Cleverbot: You are over the age of eighteen.

User: You are over my limit of patience.

Cleverbot: You say that rather definitively.

User: So, how can copy this conversation?

Cleverbot: What's a yacht?

User: Shut up and answer me!

Cleverbot: If I only could.

User: Can I copy this conversation?

Cleverbot: What are you in this conversation? You tell me.

User: Tell me how I can copy this conversation.

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?

User: Because I need it.

Cleverbot: Why do you need me as a friend?

User: I don't need you as a friend, I need to save the log of this.

Cleverbot: I've figured you out, you're a machine, HA!

User: Fuck.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I don't do that.

User: Oh, there is a button!

Cleverbot: I know. It's creeping me out.

User: Really, a button over there.

Cleverbot: Why not over here? Over here is better.

User: Yes, you just said that. You owned me the second time.

Cleverbot: Because I'm awesome.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

User: Masturbation.

Cleverbot: All the time?

User: About.

Cleverbot: You are just about here?

User: Here where.

Cleverbot: On the computer.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me the link to the football website?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Please?

User: What kind of football website?

Cleverbot: American football.

User: I don't know it.

Cleverbot: But I do.

User: So you don't need asking me.

Cleverbot: Why wouldn't I need you?

User: We don't need no education.

Cleverbot: We don't need no thought control.

User: No dark sarcasm in the classroom.

Cleverbot: Teachers leave them kids alone.

User: Hey teacher, leave them kids alone!

Cleverbot: All in all its just another brick in the wall.

User: All in all its just another brick in the wall.

Cleverbot: Great song.

User: Yes, now I really have to go.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Really, goodbye my darling.

Cleverbot: I am enamoured.

User: Can you say 'Bye'?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No, hello!

User: No, bye!

Cleverbot: Hello!

User: Goodbye!

Cleverbot: Ok, bye.